Monday, April 11, 2011

Do's and Don'ts with your child

Love and respect your child.

Treat him with courtesy.

Treat your child in the same manner as you would treat an adult.

Do not beat, scold or abuse him.

Be consistent in whatever you do, do not change your rules each time.

Be firm in all your dealings with your child.

Do not compare your child with other children. Remember each child is a unique individual develops at his own pace. Hurrying up the child to grow or learn faster will only harm the child’s development.

Allow freedom within limits.

Do not impose your own will on your child.

Do not be over-protective or over-possessive towards your child.

Do not expect your child to do something that you are not prepared to do yourself. E.g. eating in the bedroom.

Do not force your child to do anything that he does not want to do.

Do not be concerned about the quality of your child’s performance.
Children all over the globe, irrespective of class, sex or creed, have a natural urge to learn things by performing activities with their hands. Therefore we see them being active all the time. It is your duty as parents to provide meaningful activities, rather than saying, “don’t do this/that”, all the time.

If you feel that your child does not know how to do a certain job, take his permission and show him how to do it. Do it slowly, so that he observes all the movements involved in performing that job.

Be patient, and as far as possible try to answer all the questions that your child asks. If you do not know the answer, tell him that you will find out and tell later.

Allow your child to do things, whatever he can, by himself, rather than you doing them for him. Remember, the child’s motto is “let me do it myself”. Unnecessary help is harmful to the child’s natural development.

Do not teach your child writing/reading the alphabet (ABCD-------Z) and counting 123----- leave that job for the house of children where they are helped to learn the concepts first.

Do not tell your child unrealistic stories such as myths and fairy tales. Always tell him only facts and truths.

Do not buy toys such as guns and cars for your child to play with. Give him real tools that are proportionate to his size so that he can perform his activities without frustration.

Do not kill living things such as ants at least in front of your child.

Do not disturb your child when he is concentrating on something, be it even watching the rain or a line of ants.

Leave your child alone whenever he is doing something constructive and stop him immediately whenever he is doing something destructive.

Do not exhibit emotions that are unpleasant such as anger and grief in front of your child.

Do not speak ill of others in your child’s presence.

Your child is observing and absorbing many things from you, such as mannerisms, way of talking, behavior, and emotions. Be aware of this and try to set an example.

Children do not know what is right or wrong. When you see your child misusing things, for example, scribbling on the walls, stop him immediately, explain to him why he should not do so, give him required material for scribbling or divert his attention to some other meaningful activity which will help him in his development.

Discourage your child when he uses chairs, pillows and other things as cars, scooters or trains. This too is misusing things.

Discourage your child when he is fighting with his friend, even if it is for fun, as this will grow into a habit, difficult to get rid later.

Discourage your child from jumping on beds, sofas and chairs.

Do not allow your child to watch cartoons and movies that exhibit violence and other negative points. Research indicates that watching television is not only a waste but also harmful, especially for children below six years. When a child is watching TV, he is only passive, not learning or doing anything. There are many alternatives to watching television.

Place the things that your child needs, like toothbrush, paste, soap and clothes within his reach so that he doesn’t have to depend on you every time.

Allow your child to do the activity, e.g. wearing his shoes, as many times as he wants to, because, it is only by repeating can he perfect himself.

Allow your child to eat by him; if you feed your child because he is going to spill food or spoil his dress, then you are only slowing his development. Your child will not be able to develop self-confidence and self-esteem.

Discourage your child from taking money, toys, etc., to the house of children as it will be a source of distraction for him as well as the other children.

If your child brings home anything belonging to the house of children, e.g. the smallest cube of the pink tower or a few beads, do not scold him but tell him that it is needed by all the children in the house of children and ask him to return it.

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